Reflections You never analyse the present as life progresses. You take things for granted. Things move on. What you now understand as important, didn’t seem so then. What you, perhaps nostalgically, reflect on and treasure ~ is gone. Norma and John came into my life ~ as I came into theirs, in the late 1950’s, round about 1957. I was a member of the St Mary’s Youth Club that met in Church Road, Willesborough. Bill Morgan, the club leader, had enlisted the support of a dynamic young couple ~ Norma and John Peters. Norma was then about 30 years old and John 33. They had three young boys, Ian, 9; Michael, 5 and Mormeen, (Sorry Norman!) who was then perhaps 2 years old. At 16 years old, I was much in awe of the elegant, vivacious and sophisticated, dynamic blonde who provided activities for the female members of the club and was always available for sensible advice ~ including some words to the boys about etiquette and respect for the opposite sex: Wise counselling that was supported by John, who was involved in activities for the boys, some of whom were quite tough. He was calm, intelligent, discerning, firm and fair at all times. Both offered structural boundaries to be tried and tested, and a secure environment that elicited respect and gained confidences. On reflection it was a great time. Norma and John became a significant influence in my club life that involved me in acting and singing activities, competitions and contests, TV appearances, national and international activities with the Kent Association of Youth Clubs, culminating in the Club’s drama group taking part in a “Player’s Holiday” to Germany in 1959. I basked in it all ~ they kept my feet on the ground! My mother and Norma were both passionate ballroom dancers and became firm friends. Norma and John were both involved when my sister Margaret married at Willesborough Church in 1958. Soon after this, when my sister, having married a New Zealander, left England for NZ, my parents moved to Hastings from Willesborough. By this time I had left the Girls Grammar School and worked in Lloyds Bank in Ashford. I was unable to obtain a transfer to Hastings and Norma and John offered me the opportunity to stay with them in Harvey Road ~~ ~~ and so a parallel life began with Ian, Michael and Norman ~ and the Beanies! Harvey Road ~~ Perhaps for not even a year ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~! During that time and at ~ as they say ~ “an impressionable age” I was influenced by the encouragement of Norma to be confident and outgoing, to dress well, to present well, to “Go for it” and make something of myself!” I think I might have been a project for her that she could work on and I loved the attention! John was solid, reliable, given to useful conversation, pedantic about the use and structure of the English language. He would remark that one of the problems about the English was that they hadn’t mastered their own language. Not a man to display his emotions, he was dignified, calm, self-possessed, honest and always reliable. These qualities he expected in those around him. Together they offered me so much and I will always be grateful for the time I spent with them. My family came back to Ashford in 1960. Mum, Dad, my brother Richard (8yrs old) and my baby sister Gillian (1!) I went back to them and we all moved away again, to Wittersham ~ and they moved again and again and again ………………….. Contact was lost ~ The Norma and John trail went cold for several years. BUT in 1961, while my family was at Wittersham, I left Kent to go to Westhill Training College in Birmingham to train as a Professional Youth Leader. That was possibly where the life’s lessons learned with Norma and John really kicked in. It’s often said that you leave home to “find yourself”! It does work if you’ve got something to find. I had, and apart from finding something, I also found someone. Donald Stuart Goodwin, graduate of Birmingham University. We married in 1963 and lived in Birmingham, then Bromsgrove, with Don working for Mitchells and Butlers Brewery as an analytical chemist. Two children later ~ Deborah 1964 and Andrew 1966, we were on a visit to Ashford to see my family ~~~ and I looked up the telephone number for John and Norma Peters! The rest of the parallel life story is probably familiar to Ian and Michael and Norman. John and Norma again became a part of my own family’s life. Cradlebridge Drive, Hamstreet, Honeyfields……… Celebrations at the “new” youth club in Bentley Road and Norma and I on the Bouncy Castle! My children know them as my “adopted Mum and Dad!” who visited us in Bromsgrove until 1976, Chester until 1981 and Alton, where we still live, from that time until now. They came for holidays and Hogmanays. Our friends were entertained with the “Ode to the Haggis” on several occasions. Don and John conversed, read, walked. Norma and I trailed every charity shop in any vicinity! WE visited when we were in Ashford kept in touch by letters, and phone calls. Contact remained constant. When my mother died tragically in 1973 it was John who called to give us the news. When my father died in 1985 it was John who read the dedication from my brother at the service at Charing. Richard like Margaret and sister Pamela, lived in New Zealand. When Gillian married Paul in 1988 it was John who walked her down the aisle. Norma and John shared our Ruby Wedding celebrations in 1988. We shared their Golden celebrations at Hothfield in 1998 When Norma died in 2006 John was devastated. A light went out of his life and it could never be the same again. Without Norma he definitely found life hard and sometimes unbearable. His physical frailties progressed to rob him of independence and multiply his frustration. I’m so very sad he’s gone, but glad for him; He truly wondered why he was still here. I’ll miss him, but feel very privileged to have enjoyed his friendship, love, kindness and support. Thank you Ian, Michael and Norman for allowing me to share a small part of the life of a lovely man and a wonderful couple. Sheila